Author(s): Jessica Fern

Sex and Relationships

A practical translation of the principles of attachment theory to non-monogamous relationships. 

Attachment theory has entered the mainstream, but most discussions focus on how we can cultivate secure monogamous relationships. What if, like many people, you're striving for secure, happy attachments with more than one partner? 

Polyamorous psychotherapist Jessica Fern breaks new ground by extending attachment theory into the realm of consensual non-monogamy. Using her nested model of attachment and trauma, she expands our understanding of how emotional experiences can influence our relationships. Then, she sets out six specific strategies to help you move toward secure attachments in your multiple relationships. 

Polysecure is both a trailblazing theoretical treatise and a practical guide. It provides non-monogamous people with a new set of tools to navigate the complexities of multiple loving relationships, and offers radical new concepts that are sure to influence the conversation about attachment theory. 

'Polysecure provides a roadmap for people who want to establish emotionally intimate and securely attached relationships with multiple partners. One of the most important insights is that secure attachment is a product of relationship experiences, rather than relationship structures.' - Dr Elisabeth Sheff, author of The Polyamorists Next Door, Stories from the Polycule, When Someone You Love is Polyamorous, and Children in Polyamorous Families 

'Secure attachment is absolutely central to successful polyamorous relationships, and insecure attachment is at the core of the jealousy and other challenges in open relationships of all kinds. This book can help poly people, as well as clinicians, get to the heart of their struggles and pain. It can help them to take concrete steps to become more comfortable with their non-monogamous relationships and trust their partner's love and commitment. This is required reading for people in open relationships and should be used as a textbook for every therapist who works with people in polyamorous relationships.' - Kathy Labriola, counsellor, nurse, and author of The Polyamory Breakup Book 

'Gives people a way to understand how they may be recreating old patterns by bringing their own childhood attachment styles into their adult relationships. More importantly, it offers concrete skills for how to use this knowledge to create healthier, more satisfying and secure relationship dynamics.' - Max Rivers, author of Loving Conflict - how conflict is really your relationship trying to go deeper